Dear Allison, my heart is full at this time of year but this year seems different. It may be because we've spent a lot of time together after me not working for a year. I just can't wait to celebrate the holidays with you!You are a very sentimental and thoughtful person and it makes me feel complete when I'm with you. I feel like we are in sync lately and I can't get enough of it. Trust me you're not always perfect and sweet but you're perfect for me just the way you are. There are so many little things that never melted my heart the way they do now and I finally understand what it feels like to be a mom. A real mom where you constantly feel like you don't want anything bad to ever happen to your child, very 'Mama Bear' like! I'm feeling vulnerable and for the first time I'm not fighting it and it feels good. There is a famous quote and I'm forgetting the author at the moment but it says something to the effect of it being a momentous decision to have a child and let your heart go walking around outside of your body. This resonates with me and should really help you understand how I'm feeling.
My mom loved to celebrate. She celebrated life full of sports, music, our military, and especially her kids. She would always say "Children should be celebrated." The funny thing about quoting her is that she would always she was someone of few words. Her words made an impact and so did her actions. As we reminisced old stories and looking through even older photographs, she is clearly celebrating in them all! I'd love to share some stories and things that I hold fast to during this difficult time. I'm not going to say I lost my mom, because I didn't. I know where she is and I know she is celebrating up there with some long lost loved ones who she's been missing dearly. The day she passed we were recounting the stories of when she was little girl. Having four older brothers played a big role in these stories as you could imagine. One of my favorites was when her brothers told her that she could be Queen for the day if she sat on the throne-shaped ca...
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