Parkes Family

Quite the contemplative day today I'm not quite sure why but it could be the clarity of the sky, the fresh crisp fall air or the fact that I'm just starting to feel better for the first time in a week. Apparently I'm suffering from a rheumatoid arthritis flareup but I havent experienced this since the month I was laid off from Pine River. That June I went to the ER with cramped up arms and fingers and was told I had rheumatoid arthritis after testing. I've been fortunate enough not to have that hinder anything that I do on a daily basis until last weekend. Since I've been lifting heavyweights lately I honestly thought it was muscle strain or the growth of my guns exceeding my skin elasticity...🔫💪 I couldn't help but notice it was getting worse when I had a hard time grasping things. I've dropped things more than usual and I'm clumsy as it is. With support from my husband and my daughter and a super fun weekend I am getting back to my ole jolly

This is officially the first year since before preschool that I am not getting ready for school come this fall. I love school!  I always want to go to school that's why I chose the profession I did and it's also why I chose to continue my education. All of that being said it feels like an outer body experience for the weather to start getting cooler and leaves to start changing (already, yes I know!) and not to have that excitement/butterfly filled stomach I always get around this time of year...🍂🍃🍁 I know that I should enjoy the time off. I know that things will change. I know also that I will not look back on this with regret or sadness. But let's be real here folks I am going out of my mind!!  There are good days and bad days. Days where I am relishing the time with Allison before she grows up and I know it's going to go fast. There are  also days where I am crabby and Not happy because of not working and feel like I'm not taking advantage of my time with her.

In my quest of looking for jobs and being more positive I'm looking into some freelance writing or Blogger positions. So why not practice on you all that love me so much and are a very kind and quiet audience?  This weekend was about family and that's what I needed most because that's what's most important. I also can't lie when I say I love to celebrate birthdays. Everyone who knows me knows this well. My mom has always said children should be celebrated and that's exactly what we do! And at one time everyone was a child so whether you are still or not you will be celebrated if you crossed my path!!  I'm a big fan of celebrating things like good grades, sports achievements, personal accolades and celebrating because it's Tuesday at four and the sky is clear. I'm not quite sure that everyone understands just how much celebrating we did as a family. It wasn't selfish or showy. It was about setting a date to spend time together. It was a great way

Although I had a rough day on Tuesday with it not being my first day of school since preschool, Friday ended up being the spoonful of sugar I needed! Allison's first day at St. Ann's went swimmingly! She started the morning with, "I cannot believe today is my first day of preschool!" and ended with her saying that about a dozen times (no exaggeration). Upon dropping her off, she pretended to be coy... that didn't work so she resorted to her bubbly self and asked me to take a picture of her with her teacher. After that it was simple. Bye Mom. Kiss. Wave. Turn around. Keep Calm. Carry on at preschool.  (Note: Allison gave me the letters to hold to make my initials! smarty pants!!) And just like that my daughter became a student! So much of me wanted to tell her she'll be dreaming of school supplies every August for the next thirty years... Then again I didn't want her to feel doomed, that she'd still be a student like her mom at 33! What

I couldn't help feel my heart breaking when I scrolled through Facebook posts of newly outfitted kiddos with their sibling and backpacks in hand posing for their first day of school pictures. Why did it bother me so badly that I too wasn't rushing around to leave my little girl and head off to school? Since i started preschool I have had a 'first day of school' until just last year- whether it be as a teacher or student. I was made to go to school forever! I am struggling with what makes me feel this empty is it just not working or is it specifically not teaching children? I'm worried that I'm not ready to be out of the classroom. I applied for the two positions that posted nearby and no bite so I can't blame myself for not trying to figure out if that's what is best for this kindred spirited crazy teacher lady. I am grappling with a lot of things and guilt being one... again. Something that literally consumes me.  I should be thrilled that I'm not