Parkes Family

Who knew blogging would actually feel as cathartic to me as journal writing? I have been writing in a journal since I was in third grade. I have over 25 journals. I'm not sure why I keep them. Maybe it's because I value the amount of psychological relief it gave me at the time (not so much at eight when it was about cute boys or mean girls). After I published last week, I felt fulfilled in doing something about how I feel. I am fairly helpless in my mom's declining condition and at least I can let her know what I'm feeling through this blog, others can get a sense for what I'm going through and it provides me with contentment. Win. Win. That being said, I must have been on a roll and did not edit my post before publishing. Still getting into the swing of things. I've always been a worrier. I do better with more information not less to wonder about. Throughout the past two years I've been asked if I work in the medical field and that I can sound quite clin

Have you ever experienced something that gives you an whole new way to look at life? Over the past two years since my mom's diagnosis, I have approached motherhood in a new way. Every time I am in a situation where I feel the ultimate sacrifices a parent makes, I think of my mom. Even though I can't possibly remember each time she sacrificed her own needs/wants for me, I know she did it because I do it for my daughter. Daily. When I hug Allison when I want to be upset with her, I think, my mom did that for me. It makes me wish I had an eerily sharp memory where I could go back and know what she did to make me feel so loved. I know the answer is to that question is everything. In the beginning of motherhood, I would say things like "if I was half the mom she is I'd be happy." Well, at this point I'm certain I'm at least half the mom she is because half the things I do and/or say come directly from my mom! I'm pretty sure I could make a buck on