Have you ever experienced something that gives you an whole new way to look at life? Over the past two years since my mom's diagnosis, I have approached motherhood in a new way. Every time I am in a situation where I feel the ultimate sacrifices a parent makes, I think of my mom. Even though I can't possibly remember each time she sacrificed her own needs/wants for me, I know she did it because I do it for my daughter. Daily.
When I hug Allison when I want to be upset with her, I think, my mom did that for me. It makes me wish I had an eerily sharp memory where I could go back and know what she did to make me feel so loved. I know the answer is to that question is everything. In the beginning of motherhood, I would say things like "if I was half the mom she is I'd be happy." Well, at this point I'm certain I'm at least half the mom she is because half the things I do and/or say come directly from my mom! I'm pretty sure I could make a buck on bracelets that read 'WWYMD?' (What would your mom do?)
It is with deep sadness I come to realize that while slowly losing my mom over the past two years to cancer, I have gained a stronger sense of the mother I am and who I continue to strive to be. Her. It's one thing to want to be like your mother. It's another to feel that you want to be like your mother because you are so comfortable in your skin you'd want to create another person in that light. My mom did that for me. She built me up when I worked my tail off, when I was doing the right thing by taking the most difficult path. I'm pretty sure she thinks I am the funniest human being alive. She also modeled family values, respect for not only people but for our country, she fostered love of sports, the beauty of celebrating children, and loving with everything you have.
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