Dear 40,
I'm not mad at ya! I won't deny you and celebrate 29 again... I am four decades old. That's a boatload of days. 14,600 days old to be exact. Fun Fact: I have a LOT to show for forty years old! I'm not about to list material things because what shows my age are relationships and accomplishments. Those take time. I always loved the song Time is Love by Josh Turner because I feel most loved when people spend their own valuable time being with me, giving me support, guiding me, letting me grow, holding space for me. Your time has been the ultimate gift for this birthday girl and I'm especially appreciative. Today and always. Birthdays are great days of reflection and here goes...
I am proud of where I'm from. SoCal Represent! Holla! K Funk in the house! And I'm damn proud of where I am today Cali Girl Gone Country? As much 'country' as I'll ever be! If you've decided to read this, you have probably been part of this journey and for that, thank you! As JohnBoy would say, "You da best!" I can be a lot. I'm a space taker upper. I'm unapologetically raw. No lies. No regrets. No BS. What comes with a need to be real combined with a sensitivity radar is inner struggle. Today, I'm a lot. I feel like making people laugh, being on stage and feeling alive. No shame. Borderline obnoxious. Full of it.
I'd rather call those phases cheeky, quirky, on my best days FUNNY!! I am a performer at heart. I 'm a sports fan but man the stage and I just vibe so here I am in Northwest Michigan bringing my zest for life and love for a captive audience to a classroom near you! ;) I have made some of the most influential connections teaching. Those lasting relationships with students and teachers are at the core of my passion for education. I am not real opinionated but advocating for kids comes through me like a Viking! I feel whole with students, educating, being a part of the reciprocal learning process, it brings out the best in me. You can't buy that! It also doesn't happen overnight. It takes time to foster those relationships. I have so much to show for my time in my career that cannot be found on documents like degrees or evaluations (although I value proof of my time and work ethic!). I've been either going to school to become a teacher, teaching, or pursuing more education for 20 years now!
My family saw the teacher, big sister, coach in me long before I even did. My family is so down to earth, easy to be around, and just straight up supportive. My immediate family celebrates my big wins, cushions the set backs and shows up for the other moments too. We've forged a strong bond over change, distance and heartache and came out on top. One of my most favorite things in the world is to make my family laugh. Like cry tears of delerium. They don't find it odd that I'll be Nerd to the Max to get a chuckle or make a up an original dance move to start a dance off. I mean I don't even think any of my family members will bat an eye at pictures like this>>
Now that's saying something! I come from good people and now that I am far from home I attract those kind of people. That's what keeps me going. I can be fueled for days on a sincere compliment, a neighborly smile or note of acknowledgement! I believe that I can make new friends and trust my judgment of character because I've been alive for so long!! Ok ok it's not been 100 years but you get the picture! (see what I did there!)
My Husband. I could not have built this beautiful marraige with my one true love if I hadn't put in the time. We ask ourselves after seeing this on a billboard years ago, "what have we done for our marriage today?" It's as simple and corny as it gets. But, it works for
us. We are not always as stupidly in love as we look but man, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think he's worth a lover's quarrel about picking something off the floor or forgtetting to pick up our daughter (any parent who hasn't dont this yet, just wait). He's my main squeeze and he is my favorite person on the planet. I adore him. This love we've created has taken time. I don't regret a second I've spent working on growing in love and faith together! It's probably why I have the wrinkles around my eyes because I've been known to be a swooning wife here and there when he catches my eye. Imagine the doting and swaying that happened during our wedding vows. We have no recent picture of just the two of us. Also indicative of our age. We're busy with work and kids and we fall asleep on the couch every night. #thisisour40
I wouldn't change it for anything!
Mini-Me & John Boy. The things I love the most right now I couldn't have had at 15 or even 25. I am not afraid of you 40. You is a blessing! I have plenty of body parts losing their luster and systems that don't quite work like they used to but that same vessel gave life to two of my most favorite humans! Who would I be if I wasn't Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mama Mia Pizza Pie???? I don't know and don't want to! Keeping those kids alive sometimes takes all of me. Every ounce where there's no room for jokes, or game or even dance wars. It brings me to my core. It forces me to dig deep and be real. No lights. No camera. Just doing life the best I can based on how I was raised and the new challenges 2021 throws at me. I'm not all fun and games. But these photos are me. Who I am on my best days. Not afraid to shine. Sparkle. Shimmer, even! I am trying to do more things for me, unapologetically so I can preserve this energy and share this spunk with my little family for many more decades. So I had fun pictures taken of myself, thanks to Lyndie, so that my kids would remember this part of me, not the terrible selfies I attempt or the candid ones Allison takes of me with three chins while I'm cackling at a joke I probably cracked myself looking the wrong way...
Don't get me wrong, if I am going to be real I would tell Age 40 to shove it when I need to visit the allergist, go to the chiropractor, fill my prescriptions, and buy bigger sized pants all in the same week. Doesn't it just make sense that longer time you spend on Earth, the more responsibility you inherit? That can get heavy. But I know that my heart is getting stronger, sometimes bursting at the seams. Maybe it's not actual growing bigger, but rearranging space. Guess who has a nice cozy spot now? Me! I do love the random moments of realizing "wow, I don't care about that anymore." It's not a flippant attitude. Actually I find it quite liberating and refreshing! It's more like Tetris. That doesn't fit here or here or here in my heart so hmmmm... Peace Out! It's been real. As I get older, the space for those big accomplishments and connections don't leave much room for the BS. So thank you to those that became so big in my life that you kicked that stuff to the curb! (insert K-Funk awkward fist pumping here)
This is me, for better
(not worse) 40!
Let's do this thing.
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