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Don't get your tinsel in a tangle



~December 27th, 2019~

Keeping a journal with sentiments of gratitude has filled my heart with such appreciation. It has given me pause and allows me the grace I need on days I struggle. It can also be the cherry on top to a great day. I look forward to this time every night. Most nights, the pen glides easily across the pages about my family, friends, and heartfelt emotions. I believe this has been easier to do during the holidays, but so cathartic.
"Don't get your tinsel in a tangle"
The word 'mom' has been written quite a bit but more in the way of how fulfilled I am to bring the holiday spirit into my home. The way she did. Hosting Christmas this year, with my dad, sisters, brother-in-law, as well as John's family was effortless. It was not stressful and my mom would be so proud I didn't get my tinsel in a tangle (our favorite Christmas quote that was plastered on everything back in the day). I knew when to accommodate for them and when to just let the magic authentically unfold. From what I felt, read in cards, and heard; it was a successful. Some felt mom was right there with us, others used words like 'beautiful, and extraordinary, and magical.' All of this while, Allison struggled with pneumonia, we battled sleepless nights and the little guy decided Christmas was not just about losing your two front teeth, but teething to the point of being a crabby patty (even on Christmas morning!). We made it! We didn't just get through but we enjoyed it all. I cannot take full responsibility for that. My people support our version of holiday. Different people every year, food not always traditional, games or events happen or not.
What always happened is what matters most. Bonding. When I catch glimpses around my home of people connecting, snuggling, laughing, embracing, I feel whole. I feel complete to the point that my little family struggles when everyone leaves. There is no relief that company is gone but a longing for those little vignettes, those magically imperfect Christmas connections that make this season special.
Cheers to a holiday season that radiated with my mom's inner light, her values, her sense of fun and silliness, and most of all her ability to make everyone feel right at home. In her home. Now, my home. I've heard home is where your favorite people are not the place itself. This Christmas was the epitome of that statement.


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