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I love you

"I love you" were three words I heard often growing up, into my adulthood. Every night closed with them and an affectionate squeeze and kiss on the cheek. Every phone call ended with those three words. All cards from my mom were signed that way with the signature mark 'xx' or 'kiss kiss.' My mom would often draw a silly happy face with a circle for a nose and sometimes rainbows for eyes... you know like the beaming emoji that has closed eyes and rosy cheeks? That one always makes me think of my mom. So much does.
Today is Valentine's Day. A day to express love. This comes easy to me. I was shown love and affection in so many ways in my family. We snuggled on the couch watching movies, we embraced often and were open about the mushy gushy stuff. That's why when mom asked me toward the end of her life if there was anything I wanted to say that I hadn't or needed to, I took a short pause and replied, "No. I know I've told you how much you mean to me so much that you know it but I'll tell you again. I love you."


I found this sign my mom sent in one her no doubt Valentine's Day package of fun for me and Allison in 2015. I didn't realize she had written me and John a note on the back! It made me think there are symbols of love in more places than I could imagine in my home. Not just from my mom but from those I love. I started taking pictures of little love notes, cards, picture frames, and then I stopped. Love is everywhere from the warm ambience to the written words displayed to small tokens of thoughtfulness. I am surrounded by love.

After exchanging cards for Valentine's Day with John we realized there was one theme throughout both. We love to come home. To each other. I hope to never take that for granted. He is a big part of the feeling of love in this home. We smother our kids with kisses because we love them. We discipline them because we love them. We shower them with affection and give thoughtful gifts to show we care. They GET a lot of things from us but they also GIVE a lot back. As much as they can. For John boy it's snuggles and laughter and head butting cheek-to-cheek love. For Allison, it's secret notes under our pillows, endless hugs and lots of words of affirmation. She announced she'd like to use some of her money to buy cans for the Veteran's pantry that is running low. Hearing that makes us love her even more that her heart is growing big enough to not only show us love, but strangers in need! This is a beautiful testament to the value of charity my mother instilled in me. Her heart would just burst to know that Allison has chosen to support Veterans as she did.

Mom, I think you're on a roll here. Not only am I carrying on your legacy so is your granddaughter. In her own, very CaliGram kind of way. A gift of your light still shining and growing. Thank you for that. And for everything.


Sending you love today and always!
 xx Kiss Kiss 😚

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